Wednesday, January 12, 2011

"How to Survive an Ice Age." by Aimee.

“How to Survive an Ice Age.” By Aimee.

With 2012 approaching, my slightly comical yet morbid "Apocalyptic Betting Book" is open:

1:2 The next ICE AGE (Greenland or North Pole melt, ocean belts stop, deep freeze in 8 years or less.)
1:3 A Monster Plague. H1-N2 anyone?
1:4 Super volcanoes erupt, blocking out the sun, killing everything.
1:5 Nuclear Holocaust.
1:6 A combination of any of 1-10.
1:7 Mutant/Zombie/Robot Invasion.
1:8 Deep Fried Earth: The Greenhouse Effect.
1:9 Alien Invasion. (I am still shuddering from Signs.)
1:10 A Doomsday Asteriod or Comet. (Sorry Bruce Willis- not this time.)

With the next ICE AGE leading the pack of possibilities: I’ve decided to create a “Packing List” of gear that will help one survive being buried under a mile or so of snow. Firstly, I’m assuming the next ice age will come upon us gradually, over the course of eight or so years, as the ocean conveyor belts shut down much sooner than its counterpart “the Greenhouse effect” can totally deep fry us. I’m going to call the 8-year (or so) period between anything the size of Rhode Island melting and mile-deep our “Grace period.” With eight years to plan, we should get started soon!

1. Base & Outer Clothing: I would recommend the First Ascent brand from Eddie Bauer as this was the first gear to be worn by an American up Mt. Everest (and since that's where we'll be heading for altitude) for base layers, and down layers. There are better "Everest Gear Lists" here... and here...

2. Shelter: It's important to have mobile shelter: so I'd recommend an expedition tent that can be packed easily. Save your pennies, North Face's Expedition Tent costs a cool $5,000.00.

3. Transportation: After perusing an Alaskan blog about the best types of truck for extreme colds, I've narrowed my selection down to trucks, yes, and most likely a F-350 Dually. Since my Aunt and Uncle have one in Austin, TX and it can pull a 10-horse trailer, I'm heading there as soon as I get the word about melting ice in the north pole.

4. Destination: South of the Border? Will it matter? Most of the population will be heading to the equator, so I'd rather head to the upper elevations of the Rockies and make a safe house, with lots of food storage at higher elevations. (2.5 miles above sea level.)


Jay: Don't forget: vitamins to barter, and birth control, leather working tools.