"Hosting International Students: The Toughest and Most Rewarding Years of my life."

At the airport! 

In 2012-2013 my husband and I decided to become host parents to two Chinese foreign exchange students in order to help raise funds for a non-Profit near and dear to our hearts. (www.renproject.org) I'd like to share some of the highlights of our experience in case you'd like to know what it's like to host international students.

Cue Stage One: a.k.a. "Naive Euphoria."

In August of 2012, I tried to prepare the house as best that I could in advance, not realizing that everything would need to be changed almost immediately, because I had pretty much guessed incorrectly. Before the first week was out we had taken the bunked beds down and immediately went out to buy different food and school supplies and clothes.

Cue September. After a few weeks of unsuccessful and stressful roommate living, we moved one student out into the other guest room. Luckily, we had an extra room to be able to do this, because these two individuals could not have been more different. It had never occurred to me that these students might not get along! I should have remembered back to my own dorm experiences at Simmons College (my all women's undergraduate college.) However, pretty soon we settled into a routine that I could live with. Let's call this "The Honeymoon Stage." Stage two consisted of me giving up all of my free time and exercise time to shuttle the youngest home from cheerleading practice everyday (three hours after school had ended) and then to cook dinner at 7pm every night while I tried to be the perfect host parent. (I now empathize with parents of Varsity sports all over the country.) I gave up my weekends to cart the kids around to go shopping at all different places in Tampa Bay and to try to give them an incredible American stay experience. I even spent a record 15-hours searching for "the perfect" Homecoming dress for our younger student. (No joke.) I watched my colleagues leave school at 3:30 or 4pm with envy every day. I became frustrated with hearing "well, you're a parent now," in response to needed advice or understanding. I heard more and more stories of Richy's friends, also students at other schools in America, who were having horrible home-stay experiences because their host parents never took them anywhere, or allowed them to buy groceries that they liked, who never took them shopping, or let them hang out with friends, or go out to sight see in Florida. Apparently I had been a Super Host Mom. Cue the "Great Breakdown of October."

At some point in October, after running three loads of dishes in the kitchen in a single night with still more dishes to wash, despairing of seeing the guest bathroom two inches deep in water on the counter everyday, and having a general wariness or fatigue of cleaning up after teenagers everyday, I instituted daily chores. This alleviated some of the burden on me at 8pm every night, cleaning up after an already long day. Several people again advised me with a "you care too much" mantra which only made me want to react badly. (If my child were studying abroad, I would damn sure want to make sure someone was taking as good care of him or her.)

So at this point I should apologize. I should apologize because I did care about these girls so much. I wanted for them to be happy, safe and well adjusted as they studied here in America. I wanted their experience of the USA, Florida, Tampa, and for their experience at our school to be a genuine one, one that they reflected back upon  happily for the rest of their lives as being a worthwhile sacrifice towards advanced learning and opportunities. I wanted to share moments with them and delight in their expressions as they saw Disney World for the first time, as they tried new foods, as they scored a '100' on a test that they studied for four hours for, translating all of the information, and learning it in a foreign language. I want to share my own service to a community, gratitude and patience with them. I want to be fair, helpful and kind to them when they had a problem.

Cue "Survival Mode." By then it was almost Christmas Vacation, which means for teachers all across the nation, the next 21 days were the most painful of the entire school year. Sprinting through curriculum and exam review, grading an obscene amount of work in time for report cards, all with little to no energy due to a lack of time and exercise and an overabundance of work and caffeine. The girls holed up in their rooms. I holed up grading/eating/napping/walking/mindlessly watching television. A colleague, also with exchange students, bemoaned the relentless energy of teenage boys and I started to appreciate the quiet in my household. I saw the "light at the end of the tunnel" where the next weekend's cheerleading competition meant the end of the varsity season for my younger student. I knew that Tom and I would have two weeks to ourselves over Christmas Break when the girls returned to China for two weeks, for us to unwind, clean and house hunt... and also to spend some time alone together, something that literally had not happened for more than 24-hours since August.

However, I ended up spending a lot of Christmas Vacation worried about how things would get back to normal in January. Cue "The Break up." To be honest, things had been going pretty badly. I won't go into details. When they came back in January, the girls avoided each other, and Tom took over delegating the teenage chore regimen because it had become too stressful for me. Problems escalated to epic proportions, and finally, after eight challenging months, one of the students was moved out of my house. I've thought a lot about this "failure," and taken a lot of the blame upon myself. I've wondered how I could have been more patient; my nearest friends assuring me that I had shown the patience of Job throughout the year. Mainly, I was upset because I had truly thought that I might have made a difference for that student if I had just tried a little harder, which in retrospect was vanity, I suppose. In my dealings with over 600 students over the course of my professional teaching career, I've never seen a student quite like this one. I learned some very powerful lessons from this year of successes and failures. (1) For someone to change, they must decide to do so for themselves. It is vanity to assume that we can change others. (2) There is great happiness in sharing a home life with a teenager once a routine is established. I've never laughed so hard, been so proud of my husband's support and caring for our students, or had so much fun experiencing things and going on trips. (3) I can be a good parent in the future, but only with the help of a spouse as supportive as mine has been.

Cue "A New Beginning." Life became enjoyable again. There was no fighting, or stress in the house, and the three of us enjoyed a little more breathing space for the rest of the year. My mom and I excitedly prepared our passports and visas to make a trip to China with Richy to meet her extended family and to see her country. By the end of the year I knew a dozen Chinese songs by heart. I could cook fried rice. I could use a rice cooker. I had moved into expert status with chopsticks. I no longer needed to worry about ordering food at an Asian or Chinese restaurant: I let Richy order for us and I've never been disappointed. I looked forward to welcoming her back to our house for her Senior year, knowing how happy that time will be for Tom, and I and for her as she applies to an American college or University.

Fall 2013: Richy returns for her senior year! 

Cue "The Best Year of My Life!" Everything was whole again: Richy came back, thank God. (My husband and I had endured ten days together this summer when we were both home and the house was kid-free. It was weird. It was too quiet. We were both bored. We ate Chinese food anyways. We were ancy. We talked about having our own kids in the near future realizing that we had had a lot of fun with the kids last year, and that our dual independent natures are more conducive to being synchronized and balanced when there are kids around.)

I picked her up at the airport, no traffic fuss, easy baggage claiming, and then she slept for a week at our house and I barely saw her. She's pretty independent and self motivated, and studied all night long while she adjusted to the complete reversal of time zones and slept all day. She emerged from the cave of her suite to chat, eat food, or check on us, but mostly it was a quiet first week back. She went to school with me after four days to be an International Student Ambassador for the New Families Night at school, and she was extroverted, social, caring and a great hostess for another new Chinese student. I was so proud of her.

Her senior year went by in a whirlwind of "lasts," from dances to trips, and it was one of the happiest years of my life. I cried when she dedicated her "Senior Speech" to talking about her experience with Tom and I and how we had grown to be family.

When she graduated from Academy at the Lakes I have never been more proud. It was with great heartbreak for me that she moved on to college in California but I looked forward to welcoming her home to our new house for her college breaks and spending time with her, like over Thanksgiving in San Fransisco in '14 and Christmas in Tampa in '15. My life has expanded by tenfold from this experience and I would recommend it as one of the hardest and most rewarding life experiences possible.

Summer 2013: Traveling to China:

You can read about my experiences traveling to China on this blog, here. You can watch our trip video below:

Review: Carnival Cruise Lines: Carnival Paradise, Western Caribbean 5-Day.

A lot of people looked at me incredulously when I told them recently that I was going with my family on a Carnival Cruise this summer. This was mainly due, no doubt, to the bad press that Carnival had been getting this year: first with the stranding and sinking of the Costa Concordia last year where 32 people died off of the coast of Italy (yes, owned by Carnival,) and also by the multiple-day "Feces cruise" stranding of the Carnival Triumph after a fire in the Gulf of Mexico. Then, there were also problems this past spring with both the Carnival Legend and Carnival Dream and even while we were on our own cruise, there was yet another man who died on the Carnival Magic after tragically slipping off the railing on his balcony. However, regardless all of the negative press, even analysts were surprised to report a rise in the company's profits for the first half of the year, even above estimates, due to promotions and discounts that the company ran, as well as the publicized planned $300M upgrade to every ship in its fleet by the middle of 2015, which, as the Carnival parent company, currently holds ten cruise brands, has a corner on 50% of the cruise market worldwide. Knowing one of the members of the "Carnival Care Team" which responded to the springtime incidents, she advised me that now was a better time than ever to go, especially with the heavy discounts from the cruise line, and so I asked my mother in law Robin and my sister in law Christy, if they wanted to go, and we booked our adventure.

Me, Christy & Robin on Carnival Paradise - July 2013

Our Cruise: Our 5-day, Western Caribbean (Tampa--> Grand Cayman--> Cozumel, Mexico--> Tampa) cruise was a first for me and my two fellow cruise mates, Robin and Christy. Considering that we had all never been on a similar extended overnight cruise before, our expectations were moderate. Knowing all of the incidents that had happened with other ships this past year and definitely this past spring, I shared our own Nadow-family motto, "It's all a part of the adventure," our standard catchphrase in vacation episodes of surprise, disappointment, change, delay, cancelations, annoyance, sickness, or danger, knowing ahead of time that something could very well go wrong. Robin was able to find a great deal on a single room, three berth (two twins, one lofted bunk) for the 5-day cruise online, and an even better rate if you were a Florida Resident (which I was). Also convenient (for me) was the fact that it sailed out of Tampa, twenty minutes from my house, so my husband could drop all of us off, and we didn't have to pay the exorbitant overnight car parking fees at the Cruise Terminal. 

Review of the Cruise Activities, Ports and Shore Excursions: I was nervous that we didn't sign up ahead of time or on the ship for the advertised Shore Excursions in either one of the countries that we visited. Christy, smartly steered us toward making reservations once we were off ship and in port, and the first day we paid about $40/p.p. to take a Sting Ray City boat ride in Cayman out to a sand bar and reef to snorkel, with gear included, and drinks available. It was absolutely worth the savings of anywhere from $60-100 more that the contracted ship booked excursion would have cost. In Cozumel, again we waited to get offshore to book the ATV and Beach excursion, and even though we didn't save any money on it getting it for the same price as advertised, we were able to get into the earlier group (for the sister ship in port, which was departing Cozumel much earlier) by booking in port (our ship's ATV excursion wasn't until 3-hours later) so we jumped into that group, enjoyed the experience, had extra time at the beach, and still time to shop in port before getting back onto the boat earlier than our ship companions, into the dinner line earlier than any of our companions, and to the Serenity level to get lounge chairs for sunset before anyone else on our ship did. So both excursions were great experiences, we saved some money, we avoided the ship crowds, and had a great time, even though we didn't book through the ship. 

The Carnival Elation & Paradise docked in Cozumel

On the "At Sea" days, of which there were two as we made our way to Cayman and home from Cozumel, there were lots of various activities to do all day long. Each evening, we received a "Fun Times" printed mini-magazine which listed the activities for the day, the dress style for dinner, the lunch and dinner options, and "open" times for places like the library, pools and ship info desks, sales that were going on in the shops, teen activities and the like. The only Ship complaint I had for the whole trip, was that there was no "weather" report listed anywhere to figure out what to wear for the day off-ship, or on board, or to plan for gear to take ashore as well. 

The ports were havens for shoppers, eaters and drinkers. Naturally, I felt a bit adverse to staying there long. The Cozumel port was much more fun, with "photo ops" readily available, many more stores of different kinds, vendors, and restaurants to choose from. Cayman had much less to offer, although seeing as we were some of the first ones on a tender (ferry) ashore at sunrise that day, we did have the local coffee shop and free WIFI to ourselves! The only Port complaint was that regarding the tender ferries, the time available to be ashore in Cayman was less than six hours total. It was hardly enough to go on our snorkeling adventure, have 45-minutes to poke around the port before we had to take a ferry to go back to the cruise ship. An oversight that we easily remedied by postulating Carnival Paradise leave Tampa at noon the day before, (instead of 4pm) so that the ship would be docked and readied for ferries much earlier in Cayman, and that would allow us to have more time there, as well as more time the following night in Cozumel if we arrived in Tampa later and disembarked at noon (instead of 8-10am.) 

Us with Sergio and the surprise Creme Brûlées!

Review of the Hotel and Food Accommodations onboard: Our room was just spacious enough for three people to live comfortably. I would definitely not recommend four, with using the additional cot stored under one of the twin beds, there would be no room to walk anywhere. We also stored our luggage under the bed, and were able to hang many of our outfits up, put our shoes away, and fold other items on shelves. The bathroom mirror hid all of our toiletries and hair appliances easily. There were chairs and stools as well in the room. The room and bathroom was cleaned in the morning and turned down at night, daily, with an adorable "animal towel" creature greeting us with "sweet dreams" chocolates.

The dining room staff (which you could request by name each night) fostered first name relationships with the guests and were very timely, efficient and courteous. Our server Sergio even put in a special request for Creme Brûlée for us, off the menu! There was entertainment, like singing, dancing and musicians each night during dinner too. The meals are all included and it was a great experience!

Review of the entire experience: I had a fantastic time. Granted, I did not get sea sick, luckily, and was able to have a great time even though the ship was swaying hard for several hours, and softly for most of the rest. The food was great and plentiful, the service in the dining rooms and cabin flawless, the activities fun, and the offshore experiences memorable. You should know before you cruise, that your "Sign and Sail" room key is an easy gateway to spending even more money than the cruise originally cost, especially if you have more than two drinks per day, buy photos, and memorabilia on ship, we didn't even VENTURE into the Casino, the Salon or the Spa, luckily, but there are many ways that you can spend money on board, and you will. I ended up spending most of my trip money on the formal and informal pictures that the professionals took on the ship, and I would have purchased even more if they were less than $21 per 8x10. However, knowing how hard professional photographers work (since my dad is one) I didn't feel too guilty about buying them legitimately, especially because their quality was far superior to photos of my own!

Tips for future cruisers: Google a good cruise packing list. Carry on extra water bottles. Don't forget your "cruise elegant" or formal wear! Bring all of the necessities, bathroom products, items that you could need (like sunscreen and aloe) otherwise you will definitely pay for convenience. (About $10 more onboard than you would find it at CVS per item!) For drinkers: look up what you can take onboard to save money. For shore excursions: consider booking in port to save money. For shoppers: don't miss the money saving coupon book and shopping info session on board. For art enthusiasts: the art auctions generally raffle off "mystery items" which are usually free bottles of champagne for fun.

What cruises have you been on? 

What would you recommend to future cruise travelers? 

Lean and Green Frugal Living: A great blog you should check out!

Check out my friend and colleague Nicole's Blog about Lean and Green Frugal Living! She has great tips, coupons and reviews about living green in a challenging consumer economy! 

http://leanandgreenfrugalliving.blogspot.com

RECAP: Boston 2012 Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure!

Aimee & Liz on Day 2!

Throughout my entire life, my mom and I have been on some pretty crazy adventures. From the 13k hike with river crossings in a thunderstorm in Canada when I was a kid, to the unforgettable nightmare hike in hail for twelve grueling miles on the Fourth of July (2009), to many beautiful hikes across Joshua Tree National Park desert in CA, the Blue Ridge, the White Mountains, the Green Mountains, Eastern Canada, and around my home state Massachusetts. We were dubbed by our family members as the "Walkie Talkies" and even had matching hats and shirts for our adventures! That team spirit followed us on our latest challenge in our 3-Day Team Name: The Walkie Talkies!

Now we can add another milestone: the grueling 4-6 month training and successful completion of the 60-mile Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure event! We trained in separate states, across the country from one another, but were able to have many walks together in Florida in March, in California in April, and during two wedding trips up in New England this past spring. I was so proud that my hesitant mother, who loves walking, trusted me enough to sign up, and then see how many people were willing to support her along the way to raising the $2,300.00 needed to walk (which she did with months to spare.) My mother's energy and enthusiasm was relentless (until about 8:30pm each night of the 3-Day) and I enjoyed watching her delight and emotions all along the 60-mile trail. 

Completing an event like the 3-Day requires intense amounts of support. Waking up at 5am on both days of a weekend for months (while working full time) can be draining and I could not have done this without my best friend, and fellow walker teammate, Rachel. Thank you Rachel! As Co-Captains, Rachel and I had talked in the fall about expanding our team. I coerced convinced my high school life-long friends Jenna and Randi to join us. I was nervous about the fundraising, because $2,300 is daunting, but I knew how inspiring our first 3-Day experience in Tampa Bay in 2010 was, and I knew that if we could do this together, we would make a difference. So the challenge began!

Training for and the 3-Day event was not achieved without obstacles. The grueling physical demands of endurance walking has its own set of problems: blisters, blisters on top of blisters (yes, this exists), shin splints, road rash, hyponatremia, chafing, heat stroke, muscle sprains-pulls-pain, dehydration, hypokalemia, and more. Maintaining energy, strength and happiness is very challenging during the event especially when it rained on the camp for hours after we got in after Day 2. Again, I could not have done this without Rachel for the toughest miles on Day 2, the day I spent four months dreading...

But no 3-Day is without its own personal experiences, (like the 3am sprinklers going off on Day 2 into Day 3 on the '10 walk) and the 2012 was no exception. Rachel and I were pulled off the course at 5pm after ten hours of walking, just shy of Camp, on Day 2 for a ferocious thunder and lightning storm and relocated to the school gym of the complex we were staying at. (I was very excited to earn a "2012: I survived a Relo" button for my lanyard. I LOVE flair!) 

One of the best parts of the 3-Day is meeting new people and hearing their stories. The heartbreak, inspiring strength and resilience of these repeat-walkers always moves me to tears. One man, George, had raised his entire amount in eight days for his 9th WALK on the Komen boards because he was so well liked and remembered as "Honey, I'm hoooo-me!"and a "Man with Heart" (a group of men who carry heavy backpacks filled with anything women walkers might need) shared his heartbreaking story for an hour with me and Rachel while we were waiting for my cell to charge on night 1. After sharing some tears and his nail polish, he solidified himself in my mind as the role model for overcoming any and all adversity and loss. To another mother and her daughters walking for a cure,  my mom's "favorite" Walker-Stalker, to the people we all met individually along the trail or at night in camp, the stories create a bond of  strength and connection to these complete strangers, who have come together from all parts of the country to walk for a cause greater than any one of us. Our team, the Walkie Talkies, successfully raised just under $12,000.00 for breast cancer research and community support. The 2012 Boston Komen walk raised over $3M. It was incredible to be a part of that success. 

Even more incredible than the fundraising success, was the personal success of the journey. Seeing my mom cry as she realized the "Victory Tunnel" was a tunnel of thousands of cheering people and not a plastic football tunnel, as complete strangers saluted her efforts and sacrifices for the cure, was a highlight of my life. I am so proud to call these women, Mom, Rachel, Jenna and Randi my teammates and friends. 

If it's time to do something "bigger than yourself", or to spring board into a feasible and achievable fitness regimen, please contact me, and I'd be happy to tell you more about the 3-Day Walk. (Or any other hikes around the USA!) 

A BIG Thank You to our Sponsors, without whom we would not have been able to achieve this amazing achievement!

And finally: a special shout out to our Walker Fans who showed up along the trail to cheer our team on!

Lynne! 

Aunt Beth!

Aunt Sue & Uncle Jim!

Aunt Cheryl & Donna!

Sean and Louise!

Halfway to Hope!

I am halfway to hitting my goal to be able to walk in the Susan G. Komen 2012 Boston 3-Day for the Cure! Thank you sponsors! 


Read my 3-Day Blog here: http://aimeenadow.blogspot.com

Track my Progress here: 
http://www.the3day.org/site/TR?px=4905288&fr_id=1751&pg=personal

Track my team progress here:
http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/2012/General?pg=team&fr_id=1751&team_id=199500

“Des memoires en français,” par Aimée.

“Des memoires en français,” par Aimée.

Bienvenue à mes lecteurs (partisans?) français de France et à Canada aussi. Excusez-moi- pour mon français est terrible. Il est depuis quelques ans que j'ai écrit ou ai parlé français… puisque ma grand-mère est mort. Aujourd’hui je voudrais écrire en français: se pour souvenir d'elle.

De temps en temps, je pense de ma grandmère, ma Mémère. Quand j’étais petite, elle m’a dit beaucoup des histories en français, et quand j’étais une éleve, j’ai etudié le langue, dans sa honneure. Le français  est la langue de ma famille: pas mes parents, mais ma grandmère et mon oncle aussi. Ma Mémère était une Fonteneau, at mon oncle un Dupuis. J’aime beacoup des memoires, parlant avec tous les deux en français. Je l'ai aimée autant de. (Oh l'ironie, avoir aimée, est mon nom aussi.)

Cette mois, je la pense à parce que c'était sa anniversaire, pendant que cela me fait triste, je suis heureux cette année, parce que mon frère épouse une fille merveilleuse dans le lendemain anniversaire de Mémère. Ce sera une occasion joyeuse! Je suis contente.

Mon mémoire préférée était quand j'étais petit avec  mon frère (dans les parcs nationaux au Canada de l'est) peut-être dans le parc national Fundi, je pense, et nous jouions “chat” avec les enfants locaux à une cour de recreation,  campant avec mes parents. Nous n'avons pas su dire « chat » en français (“tag” en anglais)  donc nous avons dû imiter les mouvements, mais finalement les enfants locaux sont chiffrés que nous avons signifié, et tous joué ensemble. C'était très amusant!

Un autre fois, au Canada, dans le même parc, maman et moi, nous avons eu au “séminaire extérieur éducatif” pendant le soir, completement en français, lequel que nous ne pourrions pas comprendre parce que nous avons lu le signe mal. Ça c’était drôle aussi.

C’est a l’heure, il faut que j’aille au travaille. Adieu! Je t’adore!

Pépère, moi, maman, Mémère et ma cousine Jess dans '08.